Last night, I met with a young woman and her mother here in Buenos Aires. The young woman is a delightful student who is studying at a university here. Her mother is visiting her. They shared their story about preparing for college.
L did everything right. From her freshman year, she took the toughest courses, loaded up on AP classes, signed up for all kinds of activities, and studied hard. She took special courses to prepare for the SAT. Her mother attended every single college-prep meeting for parents offered by the competitive high school (it has a very high rate of students who go on to college) and was relentless about doing research that would help her daughter get ready for college.
They visited a number of New England universities. They talked to other students and parents. They went to fairs.
And after considerable deliberation and a great deal of hard work and stress, L applied to several schools and selected the one she wanted to attend. It was a top private university with a $45,000 a year price tag. The family didn’t know how they’d be able to pay for it, but they’d been reassured by the counselors and advisors all along the way, so they tried not to worry about it.
You see, in all those high school meetings, the counselors told the parents, “Don’t think about the money. This is about investing in your child’s future. It’s the most important investment you will ever make. Instead of thinking about the money, concentrate on preparing your student well so that they may enter an excellent university. There is plenty of financial aid available to students–you can think about that later.”
In every college tour, L and her mom asked about financial aid. Each time, they were told by the advisors, “We are committed to making sure every student who is accepted here receives a financial aid package that covers their costs.”
Due to unfortunate family circumstances, L’s mom missed the deadline for the financial aid form. She spent a great deal of time talking to the financial aid advisor to no avail. She was told that those who apply early get the funds, and after the deadline, there is nothing left. L’s mom said, “Listen. I understand that I missed the deadline. But now we have to make a very big decision about going to your school. We can either delay entry until next year so that we can apply for financial aid way in advance, or we can bite the bullet and see how we might come up with the money this year. Please just tell me how much money you WOULD have given her if we had turned in the application by the deadline so that we can plan for next year, if that’s what we decide to do.”
So, the financial aid advisor said, fine, let me do the calculations. She told her, of course, that the university ensures that every student receives a financial aid package that will cover the costs. (Sounding familiar?)
And when she did the numbers, she did, indeed, come up with a package that covered all of the costs. The only trouble is, the actual amount that was awarded to L–and I’m talking about scholarships and grants and anything else that is not considered a loan–came to only $3,000.
So, in other words, that race to get that application in might have resulted in a $3,000 discount off a $45,000 total. She’d need about $42,000 in loans for the first year alone.
The saddest part is that the family felt pressure to go to this school. After all, the next door neighbor kids on both sides were going to Harvard. They felt like they had to come up with the money in order to do the right thing. L felt terribly guilty about the hardship her divorced parents were going through to pay for her college, but they convinced her that it was a smart investment–after all, everyone had told them so–and that she was “worth it”.
L left that university after her freshman year. After working so hard in high school, she felt that the classes at the university were a disappointment–they were not rigorous, most students did not take them seriously, and despite the claims in the website, there were very few opportunities to get to know the professors. In fact, she went the entire first semester without ever having a conversation with any of her profs.
So, dejected and with a hefty debt, L decided to do something different. She knew she loved studying Spanish but thought it was ridiculous to pay a ton of money for a Spanish class when she could learn it by immersion in Latin America and spend far less.
She headed to Buenos Aires, Argentina to study Spanish. She did it on her own–without a program–saving her thousands and thousands of dollars. Although there were some bumpy times that first month (she didn’t have the info that will be in my book!), she is so proud of herself for figuring out how to do things, and once she got settled, she discovered many fantastic opportunities to study in Argentina for far less than she had imagined.
Now, L is going to a university here. She will pay much less for all three years of college here than she will for that ONE year at her previous school.
She knows her professors. She is learning far more than she did at her previous school. She is excited about her education and her future.
Unfortunately, she and her family will be paying for that first year for the next ten years, but as L’s mother says, at least that first school spurred L to discover a far, far better option. Live and learn.
I hear various versions of this story every day. Students and parents are working hard to do the right thing. They are following the advice of high school counselors and financial aid/admissions advisors.
The problem is that none of them are offering any alternatives to the traditional track, nor are they encouraging families to be realistic about the debt they are about to take on.
After all, if EVERYONE is doing the same thing, how can a parent say, “Enough!” without sounding like a Scrooge? What parent wants to feel that they are sacrificing their kid’s education by being–dare I say it–frugal?
Well, I’m here to say, “ENOUGH!” in a very loud voice. For those who are happy to pay the full price, there’s no problem. For those who question the wisdom of putting themselves or their children into debt for the sake of a pre-programmed and pre-packaged college experience, I’d like to point out that there is another way. In fact, there are many other ways.
I hope you’ll read my book. It will be full of tips for those who are ready to find ways to get a top-notch education without doing the mindless college admissions dance.
It’s time for some creativity, don’t you think?